Well it's a another beautiful day out.  I am feeling fairly normal these days.  Back to my old self more or less. I have been feeling age creeping in though.  My hair getting whiter and more wrinkles having a tooth pulled.  All seem to be signs I am not young anymore.  Oh well I geuss.  I have experience in things now that I didn't when I was younger.  I am almost 38 will be the end of August.

I am wondering about my inspiration for my next painting.  Chuck Close says that inspiration is for the inexperienced I don't know if I agree.  Perhaps today will be a walk in the park, literaly.   Maybe the nature will inspire me in some way.

I am currently working toward a new project inspired by the impressionists. Looking forward to the future.

Not feeling sick!

I am doing so much better.  Having mental illness is no joke.  And it's not glamorous. I was at the point where getting out of bed was a struggle and going to my local grocery store would just about induce a panic attack.  For anyone that doesn't know there are various kinds of panick attacks non of them are fun.  They can feel like a heart attack.  You can get very very sick.  I also get tourette symptms and for those of you who don't know that means spouting jibberish, swears, or strange shaking ticks.  My head my body shakes and moves in strange ways.  It isn't pleasant for anyone to see.  It's also embarassing to not be able to control yourself.  Why am I explaining this now?  Well I have been doing lots of soul searching and mental health exercises lately haven't had an attack in probably a month or more.  I geuss I am trying to spread awareness in a small way.  That mental illness is a real thing.  That it's not funny and it's not entirely the fault of the person who experiences it.  For me it was a combination of genetics and several dramatic life events that caused me to go get sick.  This is the case for many people whom suffer.  There are ways to get healthy a therapist certainly helps.

Yes the brain can be hurt and in pain just like the body.

My dramatic events some of them in my life included being deathly ill as a child and surviving.  Then in my late twenties I had a boyfriend whom abused me in every way you can possibly imagine and then some. Yes PTSD is real.

Today is today and thank god for that.  The past is over.

It's a sunny glorious day.  I have been working on selling my art jewelry and thrift items.  I am happy and feeling good.  Despite the fact I have a problem with a tooth that I am soon getting resolved.  I feel like I can't wait to do some online work, some art work, etc.

took a break and got a new computer

I took a break from selling online.  I had a bit of a break down from work and family situations.  Everyone in my family got some sort of illness.

I am currently getting therapy.

Anyway I thought of quiting but somehow that is not my style.  So try try again.

I am hoping to do better now that I am feeling better.

Life can be hard and expectations sometimes don't live up to what you imagine still living in the moment is important.  Sometimes our minds distort things.  This is espacially true if you have depression or anxiety disorders.

I thank god for great co-workers at my normal day to day job.  I look forward to the future and I am thinking that I am on the right path for me.  Perhaps I will take some buisness courses.  I have done some reading on various aspects of selling such as Marketing, selling, and art related materials.  I will continue my quest to improve.

Another day

Well it's May 1st.  I'm feeling overwhelmed by all the work I should be doing.  I am working hard but it seems not as hard as I used to.  I used to work sixty hours a week and think nothing of it.  Now I get close to forty between my online work and my retail work.  It's good to rest but I am feeling a bit lazy.

My I am lucky though to have the opportunity to work on my art!   Thanks to some help from my man.

I have this great idea for a painting I can't wait to create.  I love the theme of the impossible dream.  I am only going to hint at it as I don't want anyone to use my idea.  It's been painted before but I still like to feel original.  I hope it comes out funny and fun.

Anyway I have also been working on my ebay store a lot in the past couple days and have been seeing increased traffic. I have a ton of great paintings and jewelry for sale.  I need to make some room in my home it's getting to be a fire hazard.  Hoping people will help me out by buying my stuff.

It's finally sunny which is great for my mood as I get rather moody at times.  I would go for a walk but I think I'll save that for tomorrow. I get good ideas sometimes on walks.

Well I this is interesting. Just checking out this blog stuff